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Here's a few great ones for you!!! :)
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NEW!!!
A father had 2 sons
- one was a pessimist, one was an optimist.
One day he gave them both a gift. He gave the pessimist a room full of toys,
the optimist a room full of horse manure.
When he came back the next day, the pessimist was crying "All these toys will
eventually break and then I'll have nothing to play with" he wailed.
Meanwhile the optimist was diving around happily in
his room full of manure with a big smile on his face.
"Why are you so happy? asked the father
"Well Dad, I figure with
all this manure around there must be a horse here somewhere!" | ......................
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A man was
driving into town, and he fell in a big ditch in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said, "My horse Sebastian can
pull you out," the man said ok and the farmer got Sebastian. When Sebastian was hooked up, the farmer said, "Pull Ranger!
C'mon Benny! Let’s go Delilah!!!!" Then the farmer said, "Pull Sebastian, pull!" Then the car was out of the ditch,
the man said, "I have a question, why did you say the wrong name three times?" And the farmer said, "Because Sebastian is
blind, if he knew other horses weren't pulling, he wouldn't even try..."
One day, a man wanted to buy a cheap horse, so he went to a dealer who
said, "You can have this horse for $150. To make it stop
you say 'Bubbles' and to make it go you say 'That was close' -
it NEVER fails!".
The man was a bit unsure, but when he hopped on and said "That was close" the horse took off, quick as
a flash, just like the dealer said he would.
So he decided to take the horse out for a long test ride. Everything was fine
until all of a sudden, seeing a cliff up ahead, he started to panic!!!
"OH NO!" He gasped. " What's the word again? Bubbles!"
he cried, and just in the nick of time the horse screeched to a halt, right at the edge of the cliff.
"AH PHEW!"
exclaimed the man "That was close!!!!....."
The was a magical pony club. To get to the paddocks to catch a horse you
had to go on a special slide, where whatever you said while you were going down, was what you landed in or on.
A
girl went down and said 'LEMON BUBBLE!' (Her horse's name.) She landed on Magic, who was fully tacked up. A boy went down
and said 'THUNDER!' (His horse's name.) He landed on Thunder, who was fully tacked up. A young girl went down and said
'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' Guess what she landed in???
YYYUUUCCCKKK!!!
There was a jockey, and his horses won every race they entered. This jockey did not use a crop.
Instead he said "Roses are Red, Violets anr Blue, Horses that loose are made into Glue."
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